Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Gym Rat Potheads for Obama

I have been generally feeling more grateful and peaceful lately. Ever since I came back from NYC, I've been full of positive energy. I've been working out everyday. My new motivating motto:

Work Out or Be Fat - Your Choice

Word. I know it may seem stark and cruel, but this kind of thinking is necessary for me to only miss a workout for a good reason. At least 30 minutes a day of something. I want to be fit and trim (prepare the body years in advance for pregnancy - I am WOMAN hear my ROAR!)

The mind is a whole other story.
Pothead by Bob Dob

Yes, it continues. I can't even say I care too much. It is my one vice. Sue me. I'll shape up when I have to.

I'm doing my best not to put other aspects of my life on hold and this, I am sure, is contributing the the overall feeling of optimism.
That and a little...



Ay ay ay! Future pres and first lady ya'll! Intelligent, beautiful, progressive...ay, I quiver with excitement!!! Vote betches!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Why I Love Barbie

She is plastic and beautiful.


She comes in different varieties, all the same shape.


Okay so this one is a piece by Andras Kallai. "Fat Barbie." 2006


(I admit maybe Barbie doesn't teach little girls an exactly healthy version of what it means to be a beautiful woman, but my loyalty to Barbie runs deep. Like programmed from birth Catholic-guilt kind of deep. Yeah.)

So back to worshipping Barbie. I used to collect them, but moving around necessited the selling of said dolls. I remember my favorties were Puerto Rican (of course), Chilean, and French CanCan (from like the '80s!)...the following claims to be the first Barbie commercial - Oh boy! "Barbie I want to be you"...


Mod Francie, loves it!


Now I'm just on a roll. Figured I should show something that better represents what I was infiltrated (assimilated?) with...1980s Barbie (the selling of product to children in the '80s was fucking insane!)


Anyway, here's the PR Barbie, miss you girl (as I shed a tear haha...)


One thing I hope the vids have made clear...Dressing Barbie is F-U-N!!! Alright, I admit I used to make Barbie pornos alright. My sisters and I we are all guilty. I'd probably post them if I had them digitally. They are classic.



I was also fond of giving Barbie extreme makeovers (crazy haircuts, tattoos, piercings, amputations, whatever)




And of course you gotta love Redneck Barbie...


And I hope to take a cue from this Barbie in the next five years or so...


When I'm ready to give up this kind of lifestyle maybe



Damn I can go on forever, but even Barbie has to go to work. Peace.

Monday, June 23, 2008

"Their stuff is shit and your shit is stuff"

RIP George Carlin, you foul-mouthed son-of-a-bitch (1937 - 2008)

George Carlin died yesterday of heart failure. He was one of my favorite (if not my favorite) comedian. I remember watching the following skit when I was a child and loving it. His comedy stands the test of time. Here it is: George Carlin on STUFF









The New York Times did a really nice article on him. Check it out here:




Here he is getting arrested for being a bad-ass in the '70s...

Photobucket



And here he is as he will be remembered (2004)...Cool until the end. Word.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Papaphobia

Fear of the Pope


Be afraid, be very afraid

Check out this wesbite for a ridiculously long-lists of phobias to choose from! Extra! Extra! Get your neuroses here!

http://www.coolquiz.com/trivia/didyouknow/phobia.asp

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

Why YOU my bi-brown-gay-asian-dyke-black-native am-tranny-bi/multiracial friend should MOVE TO THE STICKS!

From the Associated Press today:

Oregon man wins Great American Think-Off

NEW YORK MILLS, MINN. -- An Oregon man is the winner of this year's Great American Think-Off, a national philosophy competition that gives ordinary people the chance to debate some of life's perplexing questions.

This year's question: "Does immigration strengthen or threaten the United States?"

Craig Allen, of West Linn, Ore., won a gold medal Saturday after a live audience in New York Mills decided he was most convincing when arguing that the system of immigration and immigration policy is broken. He says it encourages an influx of illegal immigrants and poses a threat to the country.

During the debate, the four Think-Off finalists touched on what it means to be an American and stressed that American identity is evolving.

The debate is held by the New York Mills Regional Cultural Center, a nonprofit organization dedicated to expanding the cultural and creative opportunities of rural Americans. New York Mills is a farming town of some 1,200 people in central Minnesota, about 170 miles northwest of Minneapolis.

The silver medal winner was Deana Cavaliere from Richfield, Minn., who argued that immigrants of diverse cultures have created a mix of ideas that makes America an innovative and wealthy country.

The other two finalists received bronze medals. Tom Bailey of Nashville, Tenn., argued that immigration strengthens the U.S., and Nick Thayer of St. Cloud, Minn., argued that it threatens the country.
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I went to graduate school at the University of New Hampshire - the second whitest state in the Union! I am apt to tell friends that I didn't truly realize I was "marginal/other" until I moved there. My time there was crazy and boring, filled with interesting experiences, both positive and negative. I experienced racism and a warm open curiosity. One thing is for sure during my time there: I was always looking forward to getting the hell on outta there and back into some city, any city, ASAP! It crossed my mind a few times that NH really needs some browning up (a little queer spice thrown in for good measure wouldn't hurt either, though that community was better represented than Latinos) and maybe I should consider staying. That thought lasted for maybe 1/2 a second. I felt there was nothing there for me; people didn't get me. Okay I'll just say it: It was too white! I need to be where brown people are! I admit it! I need to live in a place where a black midget tranny can walk freely with nary the second glance. This reason is why I am proud to call San Francisco and Brooklyn my homes.



All that said, you may be wondering, "Why the title? Why the urge to my diverse ilk to part ways with the concrete jungle and head on out to Bend, head on out to NH, head on out to New York Mills Minnesota? Because we need to reach our diverse tentacles out into the country...it brings a smile to my face when I hear that immigrants are making communities in smaller US cities (keep it going, keep moving to the center...). I admire those who can make the leap, those who spread their multiculti seeds far and wide. I am aware that a browning does not necessarily directly correspond to a more open diverse community (CA Republican Latino majority case in point?), but, politics aside, it does foster acceptance. I would imagine that most college towns, like UNH, can be diverse lil microcosms, drowning in a sea of blah.


I'm not sure I've made a convincing argument on why you should move to the sticks, but if you have the courage and inclination, DO IT! (Lord knows I won't!)

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

I love SMARMY AT THE PARTY!

Check out this cool new blog, much better than my barely-used one

www.fish-scale.blogspot.com

Friday, August 31, 2007

ABOUT ME!

Yippee! Yay! I left the office early for Labor Day Weekend! So, what did I do? Well, go home and veg out on the computer of course! (robot-voice: Must have 8 hours, must have flourescence at all times)

I am sharting around trying to find a really good "about me" survey for my MySpace page.

I am 29 years old.



Eh, what can I say???? I was looking for a witty way to let people know all "about me!" I write for a living. Shouldn't I be able to tell people about myself, in a way I see fit? Hmmmm...

I like colors, but not on me. I am human, before anything else. I breathe. I think a lot. I don't like violence. I don't like to feel trapped, contained, or otherwise owned. I like peace and love and realness.




I like freshness, but I also take pleasure in funk. I hate beets! I remember drinking coca cola outta a baby bottle. I don't like the color yellow.



I love crude humor and other low rent shit. I like pop culture, low culture, and high culture. I like tea time. Yoga makes me feel GREAT! I don't think I'm racist...but I can be cruel. I am essentially very loving, especially towards family and friends.

I'm a Capricorn, in many different houses, so I am like super Capricorn deluxe!



I am Puerto Rican and proud. Puerto Ricans are the ONLY people with a culture, but no nation...chew on that one...and read Jorge Duany's "The Puerto Rican Nation on the Move" for more on that...



I like androgyny and my sexual history reflects that. I HATE the word bisexual....I see myself as more "lover of humans"...that sounds SO hippy dippy, so be it, it's the 40th Anniversary of Summer of Love bitches! (dork)









Okay, bye!