Gross shit? Yes!

The weather is glorious today in San Francisco, as is my custom on such days, I head off to the grassy area a few blocks from my work. It's a nice patch of grass on the Embarcadero, facing the Bay (yawn...I'm getting there, I'm getting there...)

As I seek out a nice spot to sit, enjoy my lunch and get some knitting done, my eyes are assaulted: a man, curled in semi-fetal position, clad only in some shit-stained tighty-whitties. Doth my eyes deceive me? I look again, even though it hurts.



Nope. This fool IS sleeping on the grass wearing nothing but some offensive dodo stained drawers. Hmmmm, what to do? I mean, this IS San Francisco, I can't say I was surprised, but how to place myself in a sweet spot and yet out of the field of vision of his gray and brown man panties? Fortunately for me, there was a great spot a few feet ahead of Sleeping Beauty. Of course, knowing that there was something so very wrong behind me, I couldn't help a couple of glances behind. Ugh (shiver)

This kind of thing happens to me ALL THE TIME. When I was in Junior High School, I was walking to my friend's house and came across a man walking in sweat pants. He was looking straight ahead (he appeared to be in a catatonic state) and had a perfectly round hole cut out of his crotch area. He was wearing no underwear and had a hard-on. That's the first time I saw a real penis. Damn that was gross, why man? Why?!! Right around this time, give or take a couple years, I also came across a man jerking off right outside his window--in plain glorious view. I was young and scared, so I told my Dad.

He got his gun and went out looking for the guy, but alas he came and went.



I won't even go into the times I've seen men masterbating on the subway. You get the idea....

I am privvy to this wrongness: my eyes want to know everything in this world, even the disgusting. Like why am I always the one, in a group of people, to spot exposed ass crack? Note the person peeing or shitting in the bush over there? Or catch the person pick their nose and then smell it or worse, take a taste? I suppose this kind of thing happens to everyone, but I often find myself saying, "Ill, did you see that?" "No."

All this thinking has given me that unclean feeling. See ya later, gotta go douche!